It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
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I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize