He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
