just come out here and I will go home with you...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
