You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
