Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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