watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
