I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
