This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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