ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
