I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
