hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
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just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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