why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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