this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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