where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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