Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
