Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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