I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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