idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize