Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
