he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
