ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
