She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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