Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
