God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
