Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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