69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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