: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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