I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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