gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
We're hate flirting, damnit.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize