I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
