What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
