where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
