If that was your dad, he is hot
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
