Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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