He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
