Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
