whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
