i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
