Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
