On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
did i walk over a car last night?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
