If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
