I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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