I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
