the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
