4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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