apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
