ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
