I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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