I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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