I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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