like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
