I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
