dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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