i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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