She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
