I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
