Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
