yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
