I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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